(Reblogged from nuggetsofembeddedweirdness)
(Reblogged from ubertool)


New Comic - “PSA”


(Reblogged from ubertool)

He knows people, he could potentially get that done.

One of the things Randy and I like to do as a happily married couple is casually mull over the sneaky ways we’d kill each other. We watch way too much Dateline so it’s really always been more of a dark strategy game than a murder plot, right, but then today in the car Randy countered my banal “Mexican drug overdose” with “get Erin in the same room with James Taylor and the Long Island Medium and watch as she cries herself to death” and now I’m fucking frightened.


“Hardy Boys” Covers Starring “True Detective” Characters `by Todd Spence

(Reblogged from ghoststone)






What men hate about women in the office, 1945 (via

I have many impertinent questions. And myriad assumptions with regard to lunch.

I’m damn proud of my misapplied femininity. I think it looks great on your ass. 

I have mastered messy tidiness like a motherfucker.

I quite enjoy unfair sex practices, and would appreciate some messy tidiness in my life as well.

I don’t know how this is from 1945 because I’m pretty sure I invented the open-faced bid for a free dinner. 

(Reblogged from robthebank3r)



I heard if you whisper “alright alright alright” 3 times in front of a mirror Matthew McCounaughey appears and gives your career a makeover while spouting metaphorical life philosophies. 

but if you say more than 3 times André 3000 appears asking that you be on your baddest behavior.

(Reblogged from shannonkayegigglymama)


I only get notified about every fifth time someone asks me a question on tumblr. Some of these I’ve caught weeks after the fact but most I haven’t. So if you’ve messaged me and I never wrote back, I apologize; I wasn’t ignoring you, I just didn’t know you’d written! 

(Reblogged from tastefullyoffensive)

(Source: mrs-orange)

(Reblogged from jellynotjam)